Nick Drives Angry. I Write Angry.

Today I am supposed to feel twitter pated and excited.

Instead, I am confused and scared.

When I have a problem to work out,

writing always seems to help me solve it.

 I LOVE to write.

This past week,

I got to publish my first ever Pre-Emp.

Apparently this is where you view a trailer and write a short review stating whether or not it will be a good movie or not.

I was assigned "Drive Angry 3D" starring Nicholas Cage.

To be able to write so free and share my opinion was liberating.

I felt so free!

Too bad it was only in regards to a lame action movie.

But I am happy with the result :)

Ready to read my first ever review?!

drum roll please............................................

"Drive Angry 3D"

by Jessica

Is there a such thing as an original storyline in Hollywood anymore? Even if there is, “Drive Angry” 3D is not one of them. After watching the trailer, I am left bewildered, reminiscing of better movies with similar story lines involving vengeful fathers (“Taken”) and sweet souped-up cars (“Fast and the Furious”). It seems as though Nicholas Cage is running out of action movies to appear in – his latest is merely a combination of “Gone in 60 Seconds” and “The Sorcerer's Apprentice.”

Now, I understand the touching aspect of a father trying to save his daughter, but it certainly loses the effect when the devil’s “second-hand man” is chasing Cage, trying to bring him back to Hell. Did I mention performs every “cool” special effect film makers have created? Blown-up cars, that thing the Matrix did with a slow motion bullet being fired, you name it, it is probably in this movie.

Just when this trailer couldn’t get worse, lead actress Amber Heard enters, sporting a pair of daisy dukes, and claims, “I don’t pick up hitchhikers.”

Right ... you just pick up middle-aged men with receding hairlines and crazy eyes. Smart girl. Horrible accent.

Cage needs to start obtaining better movie roles, Heard needs to go back to wherever that accent is meant to be from, and Hollywood needs to realize the oddity of a father returning from Hell, not Heaven, to save his child. Even with such a fine arrangement of Camaros, Chevelles and Chargers, I highly doubt my wallet will “break loose” to see this movie.

So... What do you think?

Will you see this movie?


P.S. I wanted to add in an "Oh Biiiiiiii Please!" but I didn't think the student body would get it :) If you don't get it, check out this sketch here.