Yesterday was April 15 and I realized that I'm down to 1 1/2 months before I leave on my mission! Preparing hasn't been easy and I've been feeling so much anxiety about leaving and the task at hand. Luckily, yesterday was stake conference and I found so much inspiration, comfort, and guidance. Below is a post a started about 5-6 months ago and I feel okay about sharing it today.
DISCLAIMER: This post is incredibly personal and long. I'm sharing it trusting that whoever reads it will simply be respectful. Okay.. here goes... :)
.........................................................................................................
I just feel like i need to start this post, who knows if I'll really post it, maybe one day if i feel like it.
So in November 2011 something happened that shocked me sincerely, a friend passed away while serving an LDS mission. I seriously couldn't stop secretly crying and thinking about it. It REALLY made me think about the plan of salvation, my place in the world, life after death and mostly, missionary work.
At first, I just kept asking, How could this happen?
He was faithfully devoting his life to God's work and it is taken away?
But I realized that God's plan doesn't always make sense, that sometime great people are called home early, even better, great servants are called home to serve the many who have already passed away.
It was then I realized that life on this earth is short, and there is no greater way to spend time than devoting it to our Father in Heaven.
Missionary work is something that has always been dear to my heart and something I have really admired and respected. You see, my Dad wouldn't have met my Mom if he hadn't served in Italy, and my mom might have never converted to the LDS church if the missionary that baptized her had chosen not to serve. Therefore, I might not have even been born!
My older brother choosing to serve was admittedly a little surprising to me, but I cannot even tell you how i beamed with love for him as he opened his call to Rome, Italy! His decision and honorable service there has and will bless my entire family for years to come, especially our generation.
A lot of people doubt missionary service and demean it by saying boys are forced to go. I hope that all boys/men that make this decision, do it not with a heavy heart, but an open mind. I personally know it is no easy decision, but a very important one!
I was sitting in class on a Thursday in November, 2011. A teacher from the University of Utah was presenting as a guest photographer. I was excited to hear him speak because I have thought of transferring there many times. But something didn't feel right. I began to question what I really wanted. Utah State didn't feel right anymore, and now my back-up didn't feel right either. I asked myself, where am I supposed to be?
Immediately the thought came to my mind, Go on a mission.
I'm thinking... WHAT!? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM!?
and my heart just started racing! fast!
I couldn't believe it. I had NEVER thought of a mission before. I had literally told my friends a month ago, there is no way I would even consider serving one....
But I had never felt my heart beat so hard in my life like it did in class that day.
Luckily, class ended and I bolted for the door. I got in my car, still in shock, shaking, thinking woah, jessica, calm down!
As i drove home, it all started to make sense and I could hear things start to click in my mind....
Oh, this is why my counselor screwed up my graduation plan and didn't tell me to take that one class only offered every other year....
this is why I wasn't supposed to be with him...
this is making me feel really good....
this just might be what's next for me....
So I went home and got on my knees. I decided I would ask if I should just think about it. Just think about it. I got a yes.
So I went to the temple, prayed, and pondered... no clear answer came to me. A week passed and I went home to visit my family. I talked to my Mom only at first. I cornered her doing laundry and made her listen. I told her what had happened and asked her what she thought. She started to cry and said she would be really proud of me and that she would also pay for my mission. She also wanted me to know that I don't need to feel pressured into serving as well. (I love my Mom!) That was so relieving! We hugged and I kept searching for an answer.... 2 weeks later around Thanksgiving, I asked my Dad to give me a Priesthood blessing that I will be able to come to a decision and hear an answer. It was so funny to watch him finish and then look at my Mom and ask, "How long have you known about this!? " It made me smile :)
After my 2 hour drive back to school, I sat in my room and talked with my roommates Hali and Chanae, both great girls who have chosen to serve missions and hadn't yet received their calls at the time! (They got their calls to Tahiti and Russia.) I only remember telling them that I really want to serve, and I can't think of one single thing holding me back other than fear, and I know Heavenly Father does not inflict feelings of doubt and fear in us. I just couldn't think of a better way to spend my time. Serving is such blessing and if I get to help one person find the comfort I feel each day as a member of the church of jesus christ of latter day saints, the sacrifice would have been easily worth it.
It was then that I decided to serve a mission!
I then prayed about my choice and felt a yes when I asked if this was the right thing to do.
The road since then has not been easy, I have often felt scared, alone, and even empty at times. But as I have searched to feel the Spirit, I have always found comfort and guidance. This church is true! I know that a mission is probably the hardest thing i will ever do in my life so far, but it will be the best thing that has ever happened to me!
And by now you know.. I have gladly accepted my call to serve in Winnipeg, Canada! In six weeks I will depart on my 18 month journey to preach the gospel in a freezing, but beautiful land! :)
My name is Jessica. I'm soon to be a full time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Yes, I'm a Mormon!
If you would like to know more about our beliefs, please visit www.lds.org or www.mormon.org
DISCLAIMER: This post is incredibly personal and long. I'm sharing it trusting that whoever reads it will simply be respectful. Okay.. here goes... :)
.........................................................................................................
I just feel like i need to start this post, who knows if I'll really post it, maybe one day if i feel like it.
So in November 2011 something happened that shocked me sincerely, a friend passed away while serving an LDS mission. I seriously couldn't stop secretly crying and thinking about it. It REALLY made me think about the plan of salvation, my place in the world, life after death and mostly, missionary work.
At first, I just kept asking, How could this happen?
He was faithfully devoting his life to God's work and it is taken away?
But I realized that God's plan doesn't always make sense, that sometime great people are called home early, even better, great servants are called home to serve the many who have already passed away.
It was then I realized that life on this earth is short, and there is no greater way to spend time than devoting it to our Father in Heaven.
Missionary work is something that has always been dear to my heart and something I have really admired and respected. You see, my Dad wouldn't have met my Mom if he hadn't served in Italy, and my mom might have never converted to the LDS church if the missionary that baptized her had chosen not to serve. Therefore, I might not have even been born!
My older brother choosing to serve was admittedly a little surprising to me, but I cannot even tell you how i beamed with love for him as he opened his call to Rome, Italy! His decision and honorable service there has and will bless my entire family for years to come, especially our generation.
A lot of people doubt missionary service and demean it by saying boys are forced to go. I hope that all boys/men that make this decision, do it not with a heavy heart, but an open mind. I personally know it is no easy decision, but a very important one!
I was sitting in class on a Thursday in November, 2011. A teacher from the University of Utah was presenting as a guest photographer. I was excited to hear him speak because I have thought of transferring there many times. But something didn't feel right. I began to question what I really wanted. Utah State didn't feel right anymore, and now my back-up didn't feel right either. I asked myself, where am I supposed to be?
Immediately the thought came to my mind, Go on a mission.
I'm thinking... WHAT!? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM!?
and my heart just started racing! fast!
I couldn't believe it. I had NEVER thought of a mission before. I had literally told my friends a month ago, there is no way I would even consider serving one....
But I had never felt my heart beat so hard in my life like it did in class that day.
Luckily, class ended and I bolted for the door. I got in my car, still in shock, shaking, thinking woah, jessica, calm down!
As i drove home, it all started to make sense and I could hear things start to click in my mind....
Oh, this is why my counselor screwed up my graduation plan and didn't tell me to take that one class only offered every other year....
this is why I wasn't supposed to be with him...
this is making me feel really good....
this just might be what's next for me....
So I went home and got on my knees. I decided I would ask if I should just think about it. Just think about it. I got a yes.
So I went to the temple, prayed, and pondered... no clear answer came to me. A week passed and I went home to visit my family. I talked to my Mom only at first. I cornered her doing laundry and made her listen. I told her what had happened and asked her what she thought. She started to cry and said she would be really proud of me and that she would also pay for my mission. She also wanted me to know that I don't need to feel pressured into serving as well. (I love my Mom!) That was so relieving! We hugged and I kept searching for an answer.... 2 weeks later around Thanksgiving, I asked my Dad to give me a Priesthood blessing that I will be able to come to a decision and hear an answer. It was so funny to watch him finish and then look at my Mom and ask, "How long have you known about this!? " It made me smile :)
After my 2 hour drive back to school, I sat in my room and talked with my roommates Hali and Chanae, both great girls who have chosen to serve missions and hadn't yet received their calls at the time! (They got their calls to Tahiti and Russia.) I only remember telling them that I really want to serve, and I can't think of one single thing holding me back other than fear, and I know Heavenly Father does not inflict feelings of doubt and fear in us. I just couldn't think of a better way to spend my time. Serving is such blessing and if I get to help one person find the comfort I feel each day as a member of the church of jesus christ of latter day saints, the sacrifice would have been easily worth it.
It was then that I decided to serve a mission!
I then prayed about my choice and felt a yes when I asked if this was the right thing to do.
The road since then has not been easy, I have often felt scared, alone, and even empty at times. But as I have searched to feel the Spirit, I have always found comfort and guidance. This church is true! I know that a mission is probably the hardest thing i will ever do in my life so far, but it will be the best thing that has ever happened to me!
And by now you know.. I have gladly accepted my call to serve in Winnipeg, Canada! In six weeks I will depart on my 18 month journey to preach the gospel in a freezing, but beautiful land! :)
My name is Jessica. I'm soon to be a full time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Yes, I'm a Mormon!
If you would like to know more about our beliefs, please visit www.lds.org or www.mormon.org
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