Ugly.

I spent my New Years totally not partying.

and i loved it!

I was more than happy to just sit with my family and watch The Help.

It was so nice to just be with my family, talk about aspirations, and make "wishes" for the new year. Because i just don't know if I'll ever get that again, because change is coming my friends....more on that later.

There is a scene in the movie that hasn't been leaving my mind lately.

One of the maid's, Constantine, describes her definition of what ugly is:

Constantine Jefferson: What you do doin' hidin' out here, girl?
Eugenia 'Skeeter' Phelan: I just couldn't tell mama I didn't get asked to the dance.
Constantine Jefferson: It's alright. Some things you just got to keep to ourselves, right?
Eugenia 'Skeeter' Phelan: All the boys say I'm ugly. Mama was third runner up in Miss South Carolina and I just...
Constantine Jefferson: Oh, you quit feelin' sorry for yourself. Now, that's ugly. Ugly is somethin' that grows up inside you. It's mean and hurtin', like them boys. Now, you're not one of them, is you?
[Skeeter shakes her head]
Constantine Jefferson: I didn't think so, honey.
Everyday...everyday you're not dead in the ground and you wake up in the mornin', you gonna have to make some decisions. Gotta ask yourself this question; am I gonna believe all them bad things them fools said about me today? You hear me? Am I gonna believe all them bad things them fools say about me today? Alright?
[Skeeter nods her head in understanding]
Constantine Jefferson: As for your mama, she didn't pick her life. It picked her. But you, you gonna do something big with yours. You wait and see.

I really agree with this. 

We decide whether or not to believe what others say about us.

We are actually the ones who decide if we are "ugly" or not.

I think ugliness isn't based on appearance, it's based on actions.

I don't want to be an ugly person.

I want to serve others, laugh with true friends, and break down the walls that I've been building around my heart for a long time. 

I hope that each day I can remember to work on this.

This is not a resolution. This has to be a way of living.

-Jess